How To Tell If Someone Truly Loves Narcissism and Its Discontents | Ramani Durvasula 1 day ago   14:00

TEDx Talks
Is proclaiming your love for someone truly enough? Femi Ogunjinmi brings to light what fully constitutes an enduring, fulfilling relationship through his engaging experiences. Femi Ogunjinmi, mostly known as Gfem is a certified life coach, international relationship coach, award winning motivational speaker, and a radio talk show host who has been improving the lives of singles and couples for over ten years. He has authored two edition books titled, "Revelations of Relationship: What you don't know about finding true love and sustaining relationship." Femi earned his Bachelor of Science degree in Biology from Morgan State University and a Master’s Degree in Business Administration from Benedictine University with a Certificate in Financial Management. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at

Comments 1689 Comments

Narinder Mattoo
This is truly an eye opener Ted Talk, thank you Femi, thank you so much. god bless you.
The gospel on Tedx love it!
True love that is not backed up by the right actions, is not true love.
Seamus Keena
Plot twist his partner who “truly loves” him, Cheats on him
Worst TED talk ever. Everythiing he said was obvious. He has clearly never studied psychology. Where did they find this guy??????????????????
TommyPutYouON PYO
Great speach I got to be like this brother. I only had 2 but 3 🤔
jane wolf
How do you know anything about true love, "Mr. Three in a Bed???"
Godwin Okafor
True Love is all about Sacrifice
death to all but metal
100$ to those who can pronounce his name
Aditi Jain
❤❤❤ it
Hope Braver
you are like mcdonalds, lovin it? that's where i was done. duhhhhhhn.
Prem Jay
everyone is like, I am guilty of cheating
Lizza s
I love real talk
Katherine Stansfield
Was interested right up until you mention Jesus
Lavoisier Harper
Love is an emotional attachment
you can love someone but like
to have fun with someone else.
You can love your mother but
Love to hang out at grandma's
house. At your own house the
rules are more confining at
grandma's house she more or
less spoils you because she
Knows she will only have you
for a short period of Time.
So Grandma is the reason
men and women cheat.
If you are Married and you
cheat you get to act single
which can sometimes be
more fun I'm not endorsing
cheating but I know that there
is some truth to what I'm saying.
Of course age is a factor
as you get older you don't need
to have as much fun.
louise burns
I cheated once and literally knew at that point that I must not love him I told him the truth he forgived me but it was too late because I knew that trust had already been broken so I moved on and so did he we still friends well hi and bye when he picks his son up ! But point is if you wanna cheat leave that person because what is the point otherwise 🤔
Poivre Chili
He made my day👌💯😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Malik R
I want perfect man skin like this guy
Rahul Sawant
70% in India get arranged marriage, 50 years back the percentage were more than 95%.
So my question is, if Indians can get married to a stranger and have a wonderful life without getting divorce then why can't western people live their life happily even when they get to chose their partner, even when they marry the one they love?
Taff Daddy
Ladies, he is only telling you what you want to hear. The reality is is, western weman are worthless as long term partners. Divorce proves it to be 70% true. And women today won't give up their freedom to be with one man, unless he is more valuable than the countless men she can attract and exploit. Truth hurts, values are dead, and people are lost. Thank you feminism and worthless cucks.
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Narcissism and Its Discontents | Ramani Durvasula How To Tell If Someone Truly Loves 1 day ago   16:22

Narcissism has not only become a normalized social condition, it is increasingly being incentivized. The framework of narcissism with the central pillars of lack of empathy, entitlement, grandiosity, superficiality, anger, rage, arrogance, and shallow emotion is a manifestation of pathological insecurity – an insecurity that is experienced at both the individual and societal level. The paradox is that we value these patterns – and venerate them through social media, mainstream media, and consumerism, they represent a fast-track to financial and professional success. These traits are endemic in political, corporate, academic, and media leaders. There are few lives which are not personally touched by narcissists – be it your spouse, partner, parent, child, colleague, boss, friend, sibling, or neighbor. Whether societally or individually, the toxic wave of narcissism, entitlement, and pathological insecurity is harming us all. The enticements of charm, charisma, confidence, and success can draw us in or blind us to the damaging truths of narcissism. The invalidation inherent in these relationships infects those are in them with self-doubt, despair, confusion, anxiety, depression and the chronic feeling of being “not enough,” all of which make it so difficult to step away and set boundaries. The illusion of hope and the fantasy of redemption can result in years of second chances for narcissists, and despondency when change never comes. It’s time for a wake-up call. Health and wellness campaigns preach avoidance of unhealthy foods, sedentary lifestyles, tobacco, drugs, alcohol, but rarely preach avoidance of unhealthy or toxic people. Yet the health benefits of removing toxic people from a life may have a far greater benefit to both physical and psychological health than going to the gym. We need to learn to be better gatekeepers for our minds, bodies, and souls. Instead of habituating to the global shift of validating narcissism and other toxic patterns, it’s time to understand it and take our lives back. Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Santa Monica and Sherman Oaks, CA and Professor of Psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, where she was named Outstanding Professor in 2012. She is also a Visiting Professor at the University of Johannesburg.

She is the author of the modern relationship survival manual Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving a Relationship With a Narcissist (Post Hill Press) She is also the author of You Are WHY You Eat: Change Your Food Attitude, Change Your Life, as well as the author of numerous peer reviewed journal articles, book chapters and conference papers.

Dr. Ramani received her B.S. in Psychology from the University of Connecticut, and her MA and Ph.D. degrees in Clinical Psychology from UCLA.

She brings a wealth of expertise in relationships, sexuality, health and wellness. Dr. Ramani was the co-host of Oxygen’s series My Shopping Addiction, and has also been featured on series on Bravo, the Lifetime Movie Network, National Geographic, the History Channel, Discovery Science, and Investigation Discovery as well as in documentary films on health. She has been a featured commentator on nearly every major television network, as well as radio, print, and Internet media. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at

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